As I look back over my life these past 3 years, I have come to realize that I am a survivor. I wonder how in the world I made it through the trials and tribulations I endured and still came out with my right mind. Truly, it is because of God that is inside of me.

Deep within me, there is a knowing that floods my soul; that at my deepest, darkest hour of despair, I am compelled to keep going. It tells me I am not alone, and everything—regardless of how it looks—will be all right.

It is at those moments that I realize I am being carried by a strength not my own, a wind that propels me, even without my realizing it.

King David states many times throughout the book of Psalms that in his darkest hours, God came and comforted him, and provided him with the strength to endure. Over the last few years of my life, I have come into the realization of those scriptures like never before, and I thank Him.

I look back over some of the trials and tribulations in my life and realize they have provided me with even more significant triumphs. They may not have seemed that way at the time, however, looking back over them in hindsight, I realize they were not just trials and tribulations, but opportunities for growth in my character and my faith.

They were chances for me to change for the better, to learn to think differently in times of crisis, and they were opportunities for me to be repositioned for a greater destiny and purpose.

Over the last three years, several different trials and tribulations come to mind. I think on them and realize I am very humbled and grateful. I have gone into $2 million dollars worth of foreclosure debt from a failing business (we were about to lose everything—houses, cars, commercial property) only to see God bring me and my family out without losing anything. I learned that no matter how hopeless it seems, God is bigger than my financial circumstances.

I learned to turn those circumstances over to Him and to trust Him in my darkest hour.

My faith grew by leaps and bounds that year as He brought my family back to financial stability.

I learned that sometimes He has to literally snatch from us something that is no longer beneficial to us in order to give us what we really need. That was the case in 2011, when our bank allowed our second mortgage holder to foreclose on our commercial property, after we had struggled to bring it out of foreclosure a year earlier. It is a very rare occurrence for a 1^st lien holder to allow a 2^nd lien holder to foreclose on a property. But, God had another plan; we had outgrown that building and needed more space. Plus, the property was old and the maintenance was becoming quite costly. God removed that financial burden from us, and we were able to get another building that was much bigger and cheaper than what we had. In the end, we owed a $467,000 first mortgage that was paid off when the property was sold, and we were released, debt free, from the property, without having to do anything.

I learned that God is working on my behalf, even when I don’t realize it, and He can resolve an issue without my having to lift a finger.

The bank sent us the deed in the mail, stamped “Paid in Full” and we did not even know it was coming.

I learned that He will fight my battles if I hold my peace and remain steadfast. My company had an unfair audit that resulted in a crazy re-payment request from Medicaid in the amount of $439,000. We fought for two years, and finally hired an attorney. The attorney fought on our behalf for over 6 months, and, finally, he called us and said the amount had been reduced to $4,166.25. He said the attorney for the state dropped the charges and requested payment only for the events originally reviewed in the initial audit. Once the amount was paid, the audit and the entire issue would be resolved permanently. Only God can reduce a debt by over $435,000 without the attorney even having to do anything.

I learned that God is the greatest defense in the midst of a battle, and as long as He is on my side, I am the righteousness that will never be forsaken, and the seed that will never beg for bread.

I learned that God will remove a burden from you at your most stressful moment in order to reposition you for the greater blessing that is to come. Even when the situation looks unjust and hopeless, His mercy is sufficient, and His wisdom and truth endure forever. I learned that in the mist of a mighty tribulation, there is peace, and that the content of your character and integrity determine the success of your outcome.

I had that revelation this year when the state unfairly decided not to renew my business contract for the Medicaid services. They gave me four days to discontinue doing business, with no regard for the people I served, or my staff, who depended on my business to feed their families. My livelihood of 8 years—gone; hundreds of thousands of dollars in income—gone. At first, I was very distraught, and I felt defeated. I began to despair as if all was lost, but I talked with a colleague of mine who helped me realize that was far from the truth.

As I began to pray and consult the Lord, He told me, “I am removing this burden from you, so you can be free.”

The truth is, I hated that business; I was tired, burnt out and the business was struggling financially. A new vision had been burning in my spirit for two years, but I had no time to pursue it. The loss of that business gave me back my peace, my home, the time I needed to grow closer to God so that He could work on me, and time to work on the vision that now drove my passion. The day the business closed, I called a friend of mine and screamed, cried and thanked God for 30 minutes that the burden had finally been lifted.

A wave of peace swept over my body, and God told me He would work everything out for my family’s good, and I believed Him.

It was the first time in 8 years that I felt unrestrained and at total peace. God brought my family out of that circumstance as independent contractors able to sustain ourselves financially, with none of the stress, expense, and responsibilities of the business ownership. Only the Lord can do that.

In closing, I say unto you that no matter what trials and tribulations come your way, know that God is in the midst, waiting to give us peace, waiting to give us guidance, waiting to reposition us for something better, and waiting to show Himself sovereign. Know that what comes is coming in order to develop us into wiser, stronger people, and usher us to the next level of blessings, purpose, and destiny, for a greater life.

Your humble bondservant,

Voluptuous Diva