Relationships and the Plus Size Woman

Inside the Mind and Heart of a Man (Part 7):

Your look matters

 My sincere apologies to everyone for not finishing this series sooner. I have been busy these last few months launching my clothing line and now its finally here and available on line at Voluptuousdiva.com. This series of articles is designed to educate women on the inner workings of men. The information is from the book authored by Shuanti Feldham, which emphasizes the importance of eight revelations involving the mindset of men. To date, we have discussed six revelations. The first revelation was that men need to be respected more than they need to be loved. The second revelation was that men are insecure. Despite a man’s “in-control” exterior, men often feel like impostors. The third revelation is that men have a driving need to be providers, which validates their love for their families and justifies their abilities to succeed as men. The fourth revelation was that men want more sex. Having sex is a method of displaying love and acceptance by his wife, and fills a deep emotional void within. The fifth, men are visual creatures and just because they are looking does not mean they are lusting, or not in love with their wives or significant others. Men keep a mental roladex of images that are recalled involuntarily and can be triggered by another image they see. The sixth is that men are actually romantic and love and desire to be romantic with the one they love.

Revelation 7: “Men care about how we look”

This is probably one of the single most important facts about men that women need to know (even more important than sex, YES). The bottom line is ladies, men care about how we look. “Your man doesn’t need you to be a size 3, but he does need you to make the effort to take care of yourself for him and he’s willing to help.” The effort we put into our appearance is extremely important to him. Men are visual creatures so it is not unreasonable to assume that men would care about our outward appearance. Being out of shape and looking ragged doesn’t just affect you it affects him as well. The bible tells us that the woman is the glory of the man. This means that our actions are a direct reflection on him, good, bad or indifferent. Men aren’t as concerned with size as they are with the fact that we should care about ourselves, especially when we let ourselves go and no longer care about how we look. What affects our self-worth affects the man we love. They just want to see us care about ourselves and this shows we care about them.

Women are too sensitive about their bodies

Ladies lets face it, we are too sensitive and self-conscious about our bodies. We must learn to accept ourselves for who we are and stopping judging ourselves so harshly. Almost every man cares if his wife or significant other is out of shape and doesn’t make an effort to change. When surveyed 7 out of 10 men indicated that would be emotionally bothered if the woman in their lives let herself go and didn’t make an effort to do something about it. Our efforts matter the most. Most men are not concerned with the fact that we look like we did when they first met us, they are more concerned that we keeping ourselves together at the present. We as women must learn to love ourselves for who we are yes but we must exhibit such by making a daily effort to look presentable and well groomed. This means we fix our hair, wear clothing that compliments us, wear a little make up, a nice pair of earrings and shoes and yes perfume. We as women often can take for granted that because our husband or partner has pledge their faithfulness to us that only what is on the inside counts and the outside does not matter. But this could be further from the truth the outside does matter and when we as women stop caring the men in our lives feel hurt and disrespected.

So why does it matter so much

Because men are visual, when they see us make the effort to look good it makes them feel we care and in turn they feel loved. When our man puts forth a romantic effort to create something special for us we don’t care if the evening is not perfect, we are just glad for the effort and it means the world to us. This is the same way our man feels when we make an effort concerning our looks, it is a total turn-on. Therefore, just like when a man does not care about romance and is neglectful we feel unloved and unvalued; the same feelings are felt when as women stop caring about our appearance. Men desire to keep their attention on us and in this day and time with the way women dress and our sexually image driven society this can be quite a challenge. Keeping up our appearance makes that issue easier as we continue to make ourselves look good.

Men want to be proud of their wives or mates. The wife he has is just as much a part of his competitive nature as his house, and kids. Every man wants other men to think he did well in this regard and doing our part to look nice makes that possible. Most men are sensitive to this subject because they know we are sensitive about it also.

So what is a Woman to do

We must first recognize that we need to make some changes. If we are not happy with ourselves, we can be assured our man is not either. The good news is that our man wants to help us change and is prepared to do whatever is necessary to help us be successful in that regard. There is so much information designed to help us be successful in weight loss and exercise it is up to you to find what works for you. Lastly, God is waiting to help us. I know from personal experience that when I rely upon God’s strength and not my own I am so successful at whatever I set out to do and weight loss is no different. I admonish each woman reading this blog today to look honestly within herself and determine whether or not this is an issue she needs to address. If you are guilty repent to God and then if needed repent to your husband or partner. Then begin with a new mindset and heart to make changes for the better trusting God you will get there along the way

In loving kindness his bondservant

Joan White

Voluptuous Diva

Tags: Christian, Empowerment for women, Personal development, Plus size women, women